We want cross-border infiltration, we don’t want ‘B’, we want Anna back at his home, we have a wish on petrol/beer relative price…
Dr Singh Turns Dr Talk The PM talks and talks and talks this year. Pundits want him to act on big things. But we are just being irresponsible mediapersons. We want some buzz (“India loves you, George Bush”), some excitement (“a quarter of Bangladesh is in the clutches of ISI”), easy headlines…So, two pressers a month, and one-on-one interviews every quarter, starting with ET of course. 
Rahul Comes of Age Rahul stops being called a youth leader finally. He will be 40-something this year. Just what does young mean? Note that even the film press doesn’t call SRK or Salman or Saif — all 40-somethings — young. And if Rahul’s going to be the Congress PM candidate, or, as excited whispers suggest, even a mid-term PM, all the more reason to drop the “youth” tag.
M&M Turn Friends Mayawati wins UP and tears down all her statues. Or, she loses, quits politics and turns sculptor. Or it’s a coalition government in UP and she and Mulayam join hands and govern peacefully, spreading development all round. Yes…really fantastical wishes. It’s nice to dream.
Veena Malik Beats LeT O Pakistan, our dear neighbour, send us more of your Veena Maliks and less of your LeT-types. Obviously, Ms Malik does less damage than your average LeT chap. The more Pakistan’s Ms Maliks do ‘un-Pakistan’-like things in India, the more Pakistani moral arbiters, who also happen to be close to LeT-types, get agitated. Result? Less attention to LeT-types.
Economists Get it Right What’s common between the weatherman and the Indian economist? Both get their predictions wrong. The Indian economist’s forecasts on just about every economic indicator — inflation, interest rates and growth — were wide off the mark in 2011. Hope they get something right this year. Perhaps, the rain forecast.
Suhel Writes New Book In 2011, Suhel Seth told us how important it is to have an opinion. Soon after, ITC sued him for his opinion on YC Deveshwar. Here is wishing Seth writes a book in 2012 on ‘how to have an opinion and not get sued’. Ah, the possibilities of what happens next… 
Bachchans Protest ‘B’ Tag Big B, Small B, Lady B, Momma B…now, Baby B. Too much, we say. Here’s hoping it gets too much for the Bachchans also. The Bachchan family protests, via a joint family Twitter account, at being tagged ‘B’. There are newspaper headlines, TV news goes crazy…then we, and they, drop ‘B’.
New Anti-Terror Squad This one is different. The Angry Young and Old Men of Delhi, who kill over parking and parathas, man a special squad. That should teach them a lesson. By ‘them’, we are of course referring to the terrorists. We can hear their teeth chattering already. Again, we are talking about the terrorists. 
India Ends Chindia Realisation sinks in that we are years behind. The Chinese are not bothered. Let’s not give them a reason to laugh at us. Instead, let’s tell ourselves that they build a city in the same time we take to build a road.
Anna Goes Home Let’s hope corruption is wiped out in India this year, just so that Anna Hazare can return to Ralegan Siddhi and never ever has a reason to venture out. One year of him was enough. Maharashtrians have had him for years. They are clearly tougher than Indians elsewhere.
Bolly-Holly Act Stops Can we stop toasting Anil Kapoor and Freida Pinto as Hollywood stars? Kapoor’s toothy grin during the Mission Impossible promos eclipsed even the Taj. Both should stop looking back at Slumdog Millionaire. Even the kids in the movie have moved on.
King Parties Vijay Mallya spent 2011 carping, with reason, about jet fuel prices. But did he notice that in 2011, petrol became costlier than beer? Here’s wishing petrol remains costlier than beer this year, too. Before you reach for the gun, spare a thought for him. Costly jet fuel is bad for Mallya. But costlier beer? That would make the Kingfisher crisis look like a Mallya New Year party.
Source ET
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